D R E A M S

Last week I was swimming in a pool with some other people. I don't remember who. Suddenly there were some sharks in the pool with us. I was attacked. I struggled to the surface as they had their way with me. I made it out of the pool and up onto the deck and I was relieved. At first I thought to myself that I was fine and thankful to have made it unscathed. Without even looking down at myself, though, I realized that the world around me was growing misty and white and that I had indeed suffered injuries and that the injuries were fatal. I felt like the world around me must have been disappearing as quickly as the blood was seeping from my wounds. I thought to myself, as the haze became a fog of whiteness, "goodbye, world." I was looking at the people swimming around me. They seemed unaware of the sharks. "At least I'm peacefully going - I made it out of the pool," I thought to myself.

Suddenly a shark somehow grabbed me from the deck and pulled me under. I struggled and gulped water and felt extreme panic before I woke up. It wasn't a violent awakening. I didn't scream or even feel that scared. It was just...there.

This morning there was a brothel behind the bar Roscoe's. I can't remember if I stumbled upon it or came to it by design. At first it seemed that I stumbled upon it, because as I took in my surroundings the reality was dawning on me. However, I seem to remember earlier having conversations with my straight friends about coming to this place, and, specifically, one of them telling me that I would be well-suited to this "job." Meaning prostitute. There were some details to back up the assessment, but I don't remember them. I think a liberal attitude towards sex, my eagerness to please people and my general gregariousness might have been touched upon.

So, to get in here, you climb a fire escape behind Roscoe's. There are all these beautiful young-ish boys as well as women. The eyes of both are on me and I feel wanted. Suddenly I am in their training program. I am a newbie. A rookie.

There are many rules. Especially about fraternizing with one another. It's allowed, but it's contained and controlled. It's actually mandatory - but it's actually timed. Several times a day, we have compulsory fraternization. We draw a lottery to see who we get to spend time with. There are a couple boys who I really want to draw. On this occasion I get this pretty attractive Asian dude. I'm awkward because I'm new. It dawns on me that this is actually useful for my training so that I can know how to act with Johns. The Asian guy is sweet, but he starts asking me if he can step on me. It confuses me and I don't know what he means and he starts telling me he wants to hurt me and degrade me, but he's being really sweet while he does it. He's almost pleading and a little sad. Before I can answer, our time is up and one of the trainers is inside our room telling us our time's up.

I go to another facility which is down Roscoe. It seems like a sort of upper classmen place. The guys here seem more experienced and more attractive. One catches my attention and my heart bursts.

I don't really remember much else from this dream. Snippets of strange details. What some of the women look like. Waiting in line to use the phone. Accidentally breaking a rule that everyone thinks will get me kicked out, but I end up getting away with it because of my newness.

Brian posted at 10:08 AM.